As you're probably aware, I recently started a new role as a business architect for State Farm. It was a big move for me, and one that I was naturally proud of. I was excited to share this big news with my family and did so immediately via a group text to all of them. Being a caring family, they all responded kindly.
But I really haven't heard much praise or approval from them since. Naturally, they're more excited about the baby coming, but it almost surprises me how little they've talked about this career move with me.
Don't get me wrong, my family absolutely does care about me, but this isn't wholly out of the norm for them. A lot of this stems from my mom who always pushes us to be better. If I got all A's and one B on a report card, she'd focus on why that last B isn't also an A. Again, this isn't because she's a mean person but rather that she wants the best for us.
We all need that person around us. If we're getting fat, we need them to tell us we're getting fat.
We very much live in a time where we accept everything about an individual because that is the "loving" thing to do. I would contest that that is almost the opposite: being better doesn't mean not changing. This is a topic that I could go on for days. If we love the people we want to be better, we will encourage them to change.
We're doing ourselves a disservice if we only surround ourselves with yes-men. I use the title of this post as a joke, but we do need somebody that is willing to keep us accountable. Somebody who is willing to say "Hey, I think you can do X better" or "Your life is veering a little off course." If we surround ourselves with people who only reinforce our negative behaviors, then we will continue to do those negative behaviors.
The inverse of that looks like this: If we surround ourselves with people who keep our behaviors in check, then we can grow by reinforcing positive behavior and tamping down negative behavior.
That's it for this post, folks. I could go on and on, but trying to keep my own advice in check, I'm going to leave it here for now. Find an accountability partner, coach, or mentor. I think you'll find it to be one of the best decisions you can ever make.
But I really haven't heard much praise or approval from them since. Naturally, they're more excited about the baby coming, but it almost surprises me how little they've talked about this career move with me.
Don't get me wrong, my family absolutely does care about me, but this isn't wholly out of the norm for them. A lot of this stems from my mom who always pushes us to be better. If I got all A's and one B on a report card, she'd focus on why that last B isn't also an A. Again, this isn't because she's a mean person but rather that she wants the best for us.
We all need that person around us. If we're getting fat, we need them to tell us we're getting fat.
We very much live in a time where we accept everything about an individual because that is the "loving" thing to do. I would contest that that is almost the opposite: being better doesn't mean not changing. This is a topic that I could go on for days. If we love the people we want to be better, we will encourage them to change.
We're doing ourselves a disservice if we only surround ourselves with yes-men. I use the title of this post as a joke, but we do need somebody that is willing to keep us accountable. Somebody who is willing to say "Hey, I think you can do X better" or "Your life is veering a little off course." If we surround ourselves with people who only reinforce our negative behaviors, then we will continue to do those negative behaviors.
The inverse of that looks like this: If we surround ourselves with people who keep our behaviors in check, then we can grow by reinforcing positive behavior and tamping down negative behavior.
That's it for this post, folks. I could go on and on, but trying to keep my own advice in check, I'm going to leave it here for now. Find an accountability partner, coach, or mentor. I think you'll find it to be one of the best decisions you can ever make.
Comments
Post a Comment