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It's a Small World After All

When I was a junior in high school, I dated a girl in her freshman year. She was an interesting gal in the fact that she was big into horror movies. It so happened that weeks after we started dating, the third entry in the Saw series (Saw III) was just coming into theaters. Given that she was too young to purchase a rated-R movie ticket herself, she asked me to take her on a date to see the film. I wasn't excited about seeing it myself, but hey, when you're 17, you'll do anything to impress a girl.

I knew my parents would be mad with this prospect, so I didn't tell them. I can't remember the lame excuse I used to not say I was taking my girlfriend to see a rated-R movie. In my brain, I thought there was no way they'd figure out my con.

Wrong. The next day, my mom found out what I had done, and I was immediately (and rightfully) grounded.

The interesting thing is that, to this day, I have no idea how they found out. My parents nor my siblings were at the theater, and I don't recall seeing anybody there from our church. Still, they had eyes out there.

I talk a lot about how we need to be careful with our digital presence on things like social media, and I'll extend that beyond the technological realm: our actions in the "real world" can be further reaching than we expect.

The story I shared above was more silly and light-hearted, but allow me to share another more weighty example. My wife and I know a specific man on different levels. Our association to this same person is more of a casual acquaintance than a close friendship. I know him as a fairly nice guy, and I think most people would agree he's a generally helpful guy.

My wife, who knows him on a wholly different level, has had a wholly different interaction with him. She knows him as a callous, impatient person. Because I trust my wife's judgment, I know she is not lying in her description about him.

Trying to be fair to this individual and weighing in both accounts, I still lean toward that he's probably a nice guy most of the time, but my wife's account of him undoubtedly taints that picture a little bit. I can't think of him in the same way.

Our interactions with different audiences can influence audiences in ways we can't possibly imagine. If you try to be a nice person to all your coworkers but word gets out that you treat baristas like crap, that news gets out there. It doesn't if you don't see your coworkers at that Starbucks. Just like how my mom magically found out about me going to see Saw III, your coworkers can magically find out about negative behavior to baristas.

I suppose it should go without saying, but I'm going to throw it out anyway: treat everybody with equal kindness. Obviously, it's the right thing to do, and I hope you see now it's important for your own reputation's sake.

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