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Who Do You Think You Are?


Worldview. Religion. Outlook. Passion.

 Whatever word you choose, we all have some sort of identity. Some people are able to put a finger on that more easily, labeling themselves as Christian or Muslim. Some have a general sense of who they are, noting that they promote family values and being a good person.

 And then there's another category of people altogether. These people may not admit it to themselves, but there is a particular person, object, or idea that drives their entire lives. This last group makes me nervous, especially when a person's identity becomes wrapped up in their job.


Identities define you. Identities guide your behavior, your actions, and your mindset as a whole. Once that identity is set, it's really hard to break the mold. Our brains literally wire themselves in a way that certain behaviors and mindsets are reinforced through consistently used neural pathways. It's not unlike walking down the same path in a forest many times. Eventually, a trail is going to naturally form where your footsteps carve out a clear path.

 It's this reason that explains why generational behavior is often hard to break. Where you'd think common sense would prevail, it just doesn't. Alcoholics tend to beget alcoholic children; the sexually abused become the sexual abusers. It's not impossible to break these patterns, but it is difficult to say the least.

 Returning to the pertinence this has to business, there are people whose behaviors are guided by the fact that they have their identities wrapped up in their work. The problem with this is that work is wavering. Because we like to keep a level of homeostasis, we will fight to defend whatever our identity is in.

 For those whose identity is wrapped up in their work, you will see these people get very defensive (or offensive) about their work. When you question their work, you are questioning them. When you want to suggest a change, you are suggesting to change them. They literally take it personally.

 Clearly, this poses a big problem. On a smaller scale, it makes initiating change a difficult task. On a larger scale, you could have somebody go rogue and try bringing down a business altogether. While I cannot reference any traditional examples of this off the top of my head, I have seen this occur numerous times in churches. I have seen churches split over matters as trivial as changing the color of carpet in a sanctuary.

 You, fellow readers, can help prevent this. First, ask yourself who you are. Who you really are. Ask the difficult question if your identity is tied up in something as wavering as work. (And I reference work a lot here because this is a business blog, but your identity could be tied up in another wavering thing like a failing relationship or a substance addiction.)

 Second, look to see how you can re-orient your identity. I'm not going to lie: this may be really, really difficult for you. As shared above, this will require a rewiring of neural pathways that have been established for years. It's not an impossible task, but it's a tall order, to say the least.

 To help you, let me share how I align my own identity, and perhaps you can glean some ideas on how to re-align your identity, too. I see my identity founded in this hierarchical order:
  • My faith
  • My wife and daughter
  • My other family
  • My health and well-being
  • My ability to help others (via writing this blog and volunteering at church)
  • My day-to-day job
  • My love of video games, writing, and reading

 Notice closely, my day-to-day job is further down on the list. This isn't to say that I don't care about my job (because I truly, genuinely do) but rather to say that there are things that are more important. So if the company wants to make changes to better itself, I do not take it personally at all.

This is one of the weightiest posts I can ever write because it cuts to the core of our being. I'm speaking directly at what defines our meaning for existence. Don't take this lightly. Consider these words carefully and know that it is never too late to shape yourself to be the person you want to be.
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