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Adulting 101: Good Gifts and Bad Gifts

We're just now exiting the holiday season, and it was an extra special time for my wife and I as we welcomed a baby girl into our family last week. There is one thing the holidays and baby showers have in common: you get lots and lots of gifts. From the baby showers alone, I think my wife ended up sending over 100 thank you cards to all the people who gave us something!

From the pile of things we received, there were a lot of great gifts, and, well... there were also some not-so-great gifts. Don't get me wrong, we are extremely grateful to everybody for everything they got us. It got me thinking, though, that there are indeed categories of good gifts to give as well as categories of bad gifts to give, regardless of the holiday or occasion. We'll look at five categories from each side of the fence down below.



DO GIVE... GIFT CARDS

People like my mom will rail against me for this one, saying that it is lazy or careless. But let's be real: I think most people would rather receive a gift card to get something they know they'd like instead of receiving something they most likely won't like. This will correspond to some of the bad gift categories down below. My only other tip here: give a large enough amount to make it worth it. For example, don't give somebody a $10 gift card to the Olive Garden. Nobody ever spends less than ten bucks there!

DON'T GIVE... FOOD

You might be surprised with this one since it is such a regularly given gift. I love food, and most of the stuff people give are absolutely delicious. And that's the problem: it's so good that I chow down immediately. Food is the most ironic gift anybody gives these days because everybody is onboard with this idea of promoting health and wellness, yet we still give each other stuff that will make us fat. As somebody who truly wants to support health and wellness, I'm done giving food as a gift.

DO GIVE... CONSUMABLES

Don't confuse this with food. I'm talking about things like cleaning products, toilet paper, paper towels, shower gels, shampoos, razors, and more. Sure, they aren't particularly traditional gifts, but these are things that people need and buy on a regular basis. Instead of giving them food, think about making a basket with some of these things.

DON'T GIVE... CLOTHES

Unless the person explicitly states "I want this precise item in this precise size," steer clear here. Gauging a person's taste and style is very difficult, so you're probably not going to get them exactly what they want. Moreover, if you mess up the size, you may unintentionally insult them. At my former weight, I would still mostly wear large shirts. That didn't stop most folks from getting me XL clothing. Thanks, y'all.

DO GIVE... FAVORS

Okay, this one isn't that tangible, but regardless, it makes a great gift. Offer to mow somebody's lawn. Or to watch somebody's kids to allow the parents to get out for a night. (Hint, hint!) These are things that everybody appreciates, and favors aren't handed out as gifts all that often. And if you want to make it a tangible gift, have fun and print out a special coupon.

DON'T GIVE... HOME DECOR

This one goes in line with why giving clothes is a bad idea: you just don't know what a person's taste is. And this might seem obvious, but I'll say it anyway: anything takes up some amount of space. Large or small, a person has to make room for it. If you're like my wife and I and live in a smaller home or apartment, the real estate of your home is precious. Trying to add stuff to it you don't like is both a pain and not desired.

DO GIVE... MONEY

I bet you got a good chuckle when you read that. I'm thinking about this one specifically from the perspective of kids like my new baby and nephews. Kids get so many toys these days that the literally don't know what to do with them. (Actually, I don't think I have toys on this list. Bonus "don't give" gift: toys for kids.) Instead of giving them gifts, invest in their future. This doesn't particularly meaning giving cash right out. You can give things like savings bonds or opening a CD in their name. I think you, as the giver, and the recipient will both appreciate this in the long run.

DON'T GIVE... KITSCHY CRAP

Mugs with funny sayings on them. Wind-up flashlights or radios. Beer / soda can coozys. Pretty much stuff that nobody asks for nor needs and will end up being thrown away almost immediately. Think about 99% of the swag you get from business fairs. Who really needs a mini-frisbee with the company's name on it? Please do everybody a favor and just don't.

 DO GIVE... EXPERIENCES

 My wife suggested this one to me. Similar to gift cards, my wife suggests, especially for women, getting something like a pass to get a manicure or pedicure. A day at the spa. A professional massage. Whatever the case, get them something that they don't do on a regular basis and would probably love to do more often for not the cost. Pair this with doing that person a favor (like watching their kids while they get the massage), and you've got a perfect gift.

 DON'T GIVE... USED STUFF

 This one might be a little controversial to some people. I understand the heart behind it in some cases, but there are a lot of people who are, frankly, either weirded out or grossed out from accepting used stuff from folks that aren't friends. I'll raise my hand and say that I fall in that camp. You might say these clothes are clean, but are they really clean...? Call me bougie, but I know for a fact lots of people fall in this same category. If you don't know, err on the side of getting them a better gift. Heck, I just gave you five ideas here. Go with one of them instead!
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