What My Wife Does Right

When I got married back in 2012, I didn't have a whole lot of involvement in the planning with the wedding. My wife, Maggie, took care of everything. It was one of those situations where I literally did nothing but show my happy little self up the day of the ceremony. It's not that I refused help or was asked to stay out of it. My wife had it under control.

More accurately, I wasn't needed.

Photography: Free.

Flowers: Also free.

Church reservation: Yup, free.

Super nice five-tier wedding cake: Well... you probably get the point by now.

After all was said and done, I think she effectively got half the stuff for the wedding for free. The most amazing part: she never even asked for these free things. These people willingly volunteered their time and resources.

Of course, you don't just wake up one morning with a group of people willing to do amazing things for you at the drop of a hat. This took my wife her entire life to build toward, and it's something she continues to cultivate at work, home, and church.

(Seriously, I think she's up to something like five baby showers planned for her and our baby girl on the way.)

So, what is it about her? What's her secret?

I can boil it down into a single statement: she genuinely and authentically invests into the lives of others. Of course, there are specific things she does well, so I have taken just five of them and how we can learn from her in applying them to our own lives.

1. She is always enthusiastic. I always tell people that they would get along great with Maggie because she is always super friendly to everybody. She is always smiling and laughs a lot. Her nature creates an instantly inviting atmosphere and is able to do so in a way that respects all personality types. You might think her extroverted nature turns away folks are more introverted, but that is not the case at all. Her authentic enthusiasm draws in everybody.

2. She is an excellent listener. Complementing her enthusiastic personality well, she takes an active interest and care in what others what have to say. Not that she's afraid to talk about herself, but when I listen in on a conversation between her and somebody else, it's mostly her listening to the other person.

3. She learns everybody's names. This one might seem super obvious, but you have to understand the context. One of Maggie's roles is working as the Creative Arts Coordinator for the children's program at Eastview Christian Church. There are something like 200 kids in the program, and if you add in each of their parents, she's easily having to memorize something like 600 names. When she first took over the program, its attendance was roughly half of what it is now, and I firmly believe this very specific, seemingly minor thing is a major reason why.

4. She will go out of her way to help somebody else. Okay, if I'm being totally honest, this is not a personal favorite of mine. It usually means that she's going to be late getting home, but I can get over it knowing she's probably helping somebody else. She has a generous heart and will go well out of her way to help somebody. As I type this post, I am in the atrium of our church while she is working to prepare a "Welcome Back" meeting for her Creative Arts volunteers in an hour. She is, by no means, obligated to come in early to prepare for this, but she cares about her volunteers enough that sacrificing a couple extra hours of free time on a Sunday afternoon isn't even a question to her.

5. She's not afraid to stand up for what's right. She fortunately doesn't have to do this a lot, but she can get scary when she needs to. If you're familiar of the Bible story of Jesus flipping over the merchant tables in the Temple, think that. Okay, so she's not flipping tables, but she is a strong proponent of justice. The parents at Eastview and parents of her autistic clients know their children are safe with her because she will fearlessly and relentlessly protect them.

So there you have it! I could easily write a follow up post on more things she does well. She's a magnificent person, and I'm super proud to be married to her. I am constantly learning from her. These are things we all can stand to incorporate in our own lives as we continue to craft the story we tell to people at home, at work, and everywhere else.