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Prayer Is Weird

Prayer is a weird thing. I don't get it. I won't pretend like I understand it. It's something I will probably always struggle with on some level. When it comes to learning about and practicing prayer, I have done it all. I've tried prayer journaling in a physical journal, prayer journaling in a virtual journal, praying along with the saints like St. Augustine. You name it, I've tried it.

Yet it's something I'll never stop doing.

If you have your reservations against God and against prayer, trust me, I totally know where you're coming from. My feelings on prayer have ranged from loneliness to feeling insane. It is kind of an insane notion because it is literally communicating to something we cannot be 100% certain exists.

Have I gotten angry / upset / frustrated at the fact that it feels like nobody is there and nobody cares?

You bet.

The reason I will never stop praying, though, is that my life, in retrospect, is an answered reflection of prayer. I have a good job, a loving family, and belongings I am very content with. 

Are there prayers that never got answered or haven't been answered? Absolutely. I remember a 7-year-old me begging and pleading with God to make my parents get me a Nintendo 64.

There are things that I still pray for specifically that have not been answered, so I decided to shift my focus on prayer in a different direction. I have spent more of my time praying for wisdom and a constant pursuit of what God would want me to do in my life.

If you asked me last week if I thought that prayer was being answered, I would probably tell you no. But then my wife pointed out to me that she has noticed a slow but sure change in the way I think and act and how it is in alignment with that prayer I just mentioned. That was an encouragement to hear.

So, I'll loop back to where this post began: prayer is weird.

And I will never stop doing it.

(Bonus tip: I use a free app called Echo and have setup reminders for me to pray consistently throughout the day. Granted, I am not perfect in holding to my prayer routine, but of all the weird prayer tips, this one has helped me the most. I have recurring notifications that follow the ACTS prayer model. I'd encourage you all to check this app out.)

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