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What Keeps You Up Late at Night?

The top of my iPhone screen currently says 4:04am.

It's not like I set an alarm to wake up at 4:00am. Or that I've particularly gotten plenty of sleep. In fact, I went to sleep at about 10:30pm last night, which is much later than I normally go to bed. It's not as if our bedroom is too hot or anything, too. Our thermostat indicates it is a comfy 72 degrees in our bedroom, and, like most nights, the ceiling fan is spinning in full force above our heads.

There's no doubt though, I'm not getting back to sleep.
It's been a whirlwind of a week for me. Late nights spent thinking a lot about work and my own future. It's probably evident that my mind has been in outer space since content on both of these blogs has been minimal.

I wish I could delve into details here, but this week has been very eye opening for me, especially in terms of learning more about myself and my own life trajectory. Yes, career is one part of that, but it extends beyond into things like coming to grips that in a few short weeks, I'm going to be a dad for the first time.

I think a lot about that little girl about to enter our lives and how much I want to be a good father for her. That has huge implications across my entire life, some for better, some for worse. Some things are rather silly, like not playing violent video games around her, but some are larger in nature, like understanding what a healthy work-life balance will look like in a few years. (Not that I have a bad work-life balance now, but it's something I'll need to be mindful of.)

I apologize if these just sound like incoherent ramblings of somebody who has had far too little sleep. I have a point in here somewhere that you can resonate with... I think. I'm getting to it.

Perhaps the biggest discovery I've noticed within myself this week is that I have crossed this mental threshold into being less focused on myself and my well being and more focused on others, especially my baby girl on the way. Are there things and goals I still desire for myself? Sure. But one of my fondest prayers as of recently has been for wisdom, and I think the Lord has directed that to developing a true heart for those around me.

That includes my wife.
That includes my baby girl on the way. 
That includes the people in my church.
That includes my coworkers at the Farm.
That includes you, my readers.

I lay awake constantly thinking about how to make the lives of those surrounding me easier, which often involves me having to learn new things from business books or podcasts. I am proud to see how far this blog has come in a few short months even though I only average about 9 views a post right now. For me, I see a growth within myself that I never could have imagined a few years ago.

What keeps you up at night? The things that keep you up at night are where your heart truly lies. And to be blunt, some of that stuff might be abhorrent. If you're up at night thinking about that affair you're having or where you're going to get that 12-pack of beer or how you're mad about something as simple as a video game, it might be time to get your life in check.

I'm struggling with how to end this post in a meaningful way, but the reality is that reorienting your life will probably look different than somebody else's. I encourage you reach out to a trusted friend to discuss ways to get your life back on track if it's off the rails. Or if it's already on track, I encourage you to think of ways of maintaining that. Heck, I'll toss this out there: my email is david.k.hundley@gmail.com. If you want me to give you feedback on something at a super direct, 1x1 level, I'd be glad to.

It's 4:40am now. I've moved from the bed to the exercise bike. Honestly wasn't sure how this post would end, but I'm glad it ended like this. I wish the best for you, friends. May your life journey be one that you can have pride in at the end of all things.

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